For the first time in seven months, I put on a dress last month. Curled my hair—makeup, too. I even wore heels.
I did it for a funeral.
The easiest answer to the question “who died?” is that he was an old family friend. The longer answer is the better story though.
(It almost always is.)
You know the people in your life who are immovable fixtures? The ones who’ve been there from the beginning—not necessarily front and center, like your family, but early on something in you recognized something kindred in them.
That’s who Mr. Doug was.
I’m a poor fit for most people. Too sarcastic and salty and direct for some. Too reserved and cautious for others.
Mr. Doug wasn’t the only person who ever made me feel completely okay when operating at my factory default settings, but he was the first. He was a little gruff and opinionated sometimes, but so am I. He was also softer than he seemed … and so am I. He could dish out a good round of teasing, but his eyes really lit up when you were able to volley back.
There are few things in life I love more than a good verbal volley.
We also shared a love of homemade baked goods. He brought me a cinnamon swirl coffee cake when my grandmother died. I made him a chocolate meringue pie (his granddaughter’s recipe) on his birthday.
We exchanged handwritten thank you notes for the baked goods.
When I heard he was dying, I was sad for his family, whom I’ve loved like my own my whole life. I was sad for my grandfather, who was losing his best friend of 60 years.
But it took me days to be sad for me, and when it finally hit, I crumpled with a sob.
He was one of the ones who lets me be all the things I am.
The weekend before Mr. Doug passed, it was my grandfather’s 88th birthday. I had made a chocolate meringue pie for the celebration, and my granddad said he would take a leftover slice to Mr. Doug the next day.
At the funeral visitation a week later, I hugged Mr. Doug’s daughter and told her how sorry I was for her family’s loss and how much I would miss him.
“He was able to enjoy a bite of your pie,” she told me. “It made him smile.”
This post was inspired by Callie Feyen’s 30 Days of Grateful Writing Challenge. Learn more here.